the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Let's get the cat blown out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
