At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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