well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
