8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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