Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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