All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
