Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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