you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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