Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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