We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have post one night stand depression
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