I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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