call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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