my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
