dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
