Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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