i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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