The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
