why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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