good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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