He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize