Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
