Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
