I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
