If i come over, it means nothing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
