okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
honey bunches of taint.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize