What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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