you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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