I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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