He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
