all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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