ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
