I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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