I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
