I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
