just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
