But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
