um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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