I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
