Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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