I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize