Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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