I wish my penis had an off switch
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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