I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
