there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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