Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and you said cock pushups were impossible
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
