Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
