There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
