sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
