is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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