We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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