The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
