I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
