Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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