so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize