I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
