he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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