we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize