maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
