im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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