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Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't trust your balls anymore.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
