He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
