Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
