I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just high enough for therapy.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize