gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Four minutes until I can fart!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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